Here's to Anneka

I love Anneka! Maybe it's being away from her so much but, no matter how exhausted I am, I love being around her...and I have so much more patience for those two year old tantrums.

She is singing so many songs...pat-a-cake to the baby, five little monkeys, abc's and 123's. She can recite a couple of her books on her own...she does all of Brown Bear, What Do You See?, while turning the pages and pointing to the lines. She loves to play doctor and makes me be the patient. She checks my heartbeat and Baby's heart beat, my ears, eyes, nose and asks me if, afterward, I feel better. I often catch her playing "doctor" with her dolls as well, chatting away and making up all kinds of games on her own. I think she's learned a lot about play and also about independence at daycare. She seems to really enjoy going to daycare from Monday straight through Thursday. She loves to draw - she draws circles for bodies and stick arms and legs around them, though they don't usually connect. She uses the whole paper drawing little things all over it. It is very focused and each stroke seems to have a purpose, and she talks about what she's drawing.

She's a pretty damn happy little thing, although she still whines and cries easily when she doesn't get what she wants. We really try not to reinforce this behaviour by giving in but she is SO persistant. She can be a bit aggressive and selfish around other kids. She does love kids and seems to make friends easily, but she does push and isn't too good at sharing yet. She loves to play with older girls, especially her cousin Amelia. They play so well together, with Amelia engaging Anneka in all kinds of new make-believe games. The latest one has been school. Anneka worships Amelia (who wouldn't?) and goes along with most everything. Last Sunday they played together ALL DAY without a single argument! But, Anneka's no push over. As Gamma says, "she's not afraid to stand up to anyone" and she knows PRECISELY what she wants.

She's also got a really hardly constitution. She gets through illnesses quickly and they are usually short lived - except the snotty noses. I was like that as a kid, too, never getting quite as sick as most of the kids around me. Actually, it wasn't until a I had a kid myself that I became more prone to illness. Still, I'm working on building back that healthy immune system. Of course kids bring all kinds of stuff into the house, but I've also spent my share of time in schools.

Anneka is really a rock in a lot of ways. She's still as solid a night time sleeper as ever, although she's been getting up earlier (between 7 and 7:30 most days with the occasional 8am "sleep in"). Those glorious summer days of sleeping in are long gone. She still sleeps in a crib, and I'm going to leave her in it until she asks to change. She will. She's asked to be out of a pull up at night. She says it's "too ouchy" and that she's a "big girl now" and takes it off. So, she's been entirely diaper free for three days now. She waits until the morning to pee. She has an amazing bladder, which I wish she'd inherited from me! Although still hard to understand at times (although I get most of what she says) she is getting much clearer to strangers and speaks in long sentences and even paragraphs. I think this ability to communicate makes her really happy and a lot less frustrated than she otherwise could get.

So this post is a quick little tribute to Annekins...of course we do go through rough patches, but lately it's been so fun. I love you baby! (I mean, big girl - sorry!) And I just wanted to say "Thank You" for being so cooperative during this busy time of working as much as possible, renovating and growing a baby. You are going to be an amazing BIG SISTER!

get shot or not?

My doctor is over sixty and remembers family members and family friends getting sick and even dieing from polio and diptheria. She has a real appreciation for vaccines and their ability to save lives. I'd say she's even passionate about it. Yes, I am from a generation that takes vaccines for granted and even has the luxury to refuse them and not get sick. When the majority of the population has been vaccinated, the likelihood of getting a potentially debilitating or fatal disease is greatly diminished. So, the logic is why take the risk of you or your child having some adverse reaction or becoming developmentally impaired by having the vaccine? The rest of the population can take the risk.

When I travel, I don't question getting myself vaccinated for Hepatitis A, B, Thypoid, or Yellow Fever. The chance of contracting one of these diseases is real, and I'd rather take my chances on a vaccine then give up traveling. We chose to give Anneka all the regular vaccines on the prescribed schedule. We want to travel with her, and these vaccinations have stood the test of time (with the exception of the chicken pox vaccine). We'll do the same with our second child.

Why then, do I always turn down the flu vaccine and have, so far, refused the H1N1 vaccine? I think it's for similar reasons as my doctor feels strongly about vaccinations. When I was a kid, we all got the flu. People got the flu, you had a fever, puked, whatever; but you got over it pretty quick. And that was it. It wasn't a big deal. Although flues do kill, they never harmed anyone around me. And so I always felt the flu shot was a bit of a waste for the general population. But, maybe it's not? If you vaccinate the herd, those that slip through also gain some protection.

Probably the main reason I haven't got the H1N1 flu vaccine, is because we think it already swept through our household (as I mentioned in a previous post). I'd be willing to put money on it, but I'd still be gambling.

Is there any harm in getting the vaccine regardless? Probably not. And I would like to make sure this little baby (coming in February) is not exposed to flu-like illnesses so early in its life.

Sick Again; Sick With Men

Aargh. I hope it's not the dreaded Swine flu. It feels more like a cold. Just started yesterday.

Had a really good high-energy week, until yesterday. Then also started feeling really irritated with men in general. It's not so much Paul, it's men. But he fits that category. I'm working today, he's gone skiing, Anneka has been dropped at a friend's. Then, Kiki's first birthday party this evening.

I think I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant - or is it 27? Little Baby is sitting low and using my bladder as an exercise ball. I guess I'm in my third trimester already. Also I'm starting to feel Baby's hiccups quite frequently - again like Anneka - and baby hangs out in a similar position as Anneka did. Head down and on my left, butt to the left and above my belly button and feet probing my right ribs (but lower). Perfect position; good baby.

I've beem feeling disenchanted with my prenatal care - the mid-wifery care I got during my first pregnancy is hard to measure up to. Midwives do not have authority to practice in our Squamish hospital and so there are no practicing midwives up here. Gloria Lemay will come up to deliver home births and make house calls in Squamish but not during mid-winter...who could blame her? The Olympic hub-bub will be starting, or underway, when this baby is due, so I'm not sure I want to tackle the highway to Vancouver myself. So, I settled with my doctor's care and delivery in our local hospital. But, as I said, I haven't been too pleased with the care I've been receiving.

Let me just say, I like my doctor very much, even if she is some what verbose - a bit more of a speaker than a listener. She's older and a very experienced maternity doctor. She's a self confident, strong-minded woman, and kind. She's been through a lot herself, seen changes in obsetrics through the years, and is an advocate for women. I hope she will be an advocate for me; but I have not had a conversation about my birth expectations with her yet.

It's not really her; it's the clinic and the system. She does rounds at the hospital, she does shifts at the walk in clinic, plus she has all her regular patients/clients. She is not confined to four scheduled births a month, as with midwives. The prenatal appointment after my 18 week ultrasound, did not produce my ultrasound results. I had to remind my doctor that they should be ready - but during the time I was there, they did not appear. Contrast: my midwife called me to give me a quick run down on results (ie. nothing to worry about) and told me we would go over them in detail during my next visit. I have not been called about the results since then.

Since then, I missed an appointment. Totally slipped my mind. At work that evening, I was scheduling items in my agenda, and realized this. I was never contacted by the clinic to see why... or by my doc. Shouldn't she be concerned? Later that week when I called the clinic to check in and say that I wouldn't reschedule (my doc books 6 weeks in advance anyway) I asked about the ultrasound report. Yes, they had it, No, my doctor would not be calling me about it. I know there is nothing out of the ordinary in it, as the tech at the hospital was wonderful and told us about all she was seeing and said everything looked fabulous etc. etc.; it's just a formality, but important to me.

So, I have been reconsidering my options. I began considering the drive to Vancouver; contacted Gloria. Then I had a conversation with a coworker who raved about my doctor. This woman who has lived here for decades, said she was the best maternity doctor. Everyone loved her. She'd be there for you anytime...and on and on. Hmmmm. Maybe I'll give her another try and have that timely conversation with her.

It would be so much easier to have the baby here in our little local hospital ... or maybe my doctor, the independent, strong-minded woman, would come to my house? Everyone likes our hospital. Less patients; more attention. Could be sweet.

I feel much better. I don't think I have H1N1, and I've really enjoyed this time at the computer with my coffee in a quiet house. Scratchy throat, runny nose, but clear mind, and strong body.

Now I just have to get over this thing with men I'm having; it's probably a good thing I just watched the last episode of Mad Men...I don't think it was helping!!

Pregnancy

I am now 24 weeks pregnant, or about five and a half months and well over half way there. I am in no hurry for this pregnancy to be over. Like clockwork, the major fatique and nausea subsided by 12 weeks, but shortly after I became sick. There is a good chance it was the H1N1 virus, as I've heard that anywhere from 50 - 90% of the flu cases in this area have been. My symptoms would indicate that it was.

On the worst day of the illness, I was to host Anneka's second birthday party, and of course, I had made life difficult by planning to make homemade pizzas on the BBQ for 15 children and adults. I had to call my mom to come up from Vancouver the rescue me; there was no way I was going to pull it off on my own. The party was at 5:00 (was a huge success - Anneka had the time of her life) and by 7:00 I was sitting in the rocking chair in Anneka's room, sweating, coughing and barely able to move. That bug progressed from one thing into the next for the next four weeks until my nose was so red and raw and cracked, that my doctor thought it could have turned into a case of allergic rhinitis. Indeed, I had been sanding and filling in the basement suite for days. Within days of her giving me a cortisone nasal spray, I was better. The headaches that plagued me from the beginning of the pregnancy also decreased majorly.

So, finally, the last few weeks I have been feeling really good. Some days I can't even believe how high my energy levels, but other days, like to day, my activity catches up with me. I've taken a job at Pure Frame and Flower store to boost up my maternity hours. It is super fun and I am learning all about framing. That combined with Capilano U. has me working around 30 hours a week. Right now, I am loving it and feel really good about both jobs. They compliment eachother so nicely. Cap, is my career job and the framing definitely massages my creative/hands-on side. I have been so, so lucky this summer and fall.

I hope my luck continues. Paul and Anneka have been very sick since Wednesday. On Thursday night, Anneka's fever was so high (39.6) that the nurse at 811 recommended I take her to emergency right away. After working 10 hours, I was not back home until midnight, and the trip wasn't really necessary - the Tylenol had brought her fever down. For the next two days we administered Tylenol when she'd begun to heat back up and her and Paul rested and slept. They seem to have both turned the corner now. I have not yet got sick. I hope, I hope that they just got what I had previously and that I have some immunity now, because I do not want to go throught that again - especially the night time coughing.

As for little baby; I really believe that she/he has been well protected from all of his/her mother's ailments. My belly is big - bigger than it was with Anneka. This time, I had strangers comment on my pregnancy by 11 weeks. I carried Anneka way out front too and showed quite early, but after looking at pictures of me pregnant the first time at 24 weeks, it is obvious I am displaying this baby even more obviously. I squished myself into the jeans I had on in Anneka's belly shot and even wore them to work - that made me feel better.

Baby was really busy during the 19 week ultrasound, constantly chewing on fingers and waving arms and legs. I have been comforted with Baby's movement all along, never a day passing where I didn't feel movement. Today the movements feel really strong. Just moments ago, I was watching my belly and watching baby pushing or kicking just to the right of my belly button with strong solide movements. It is so cool to watch this knocking on the uterine wall. It reminded me of Anneka, because her shape and position in side of me was unusually clear (according to my midwives). I feel really good about this baby inside of me - it just seems that he or she is resilient and hardy and thriving. I love this little baby so much already.

Thanks!

It felt great! I had a little retreat on Mayne Island over Thanksgiving weekend. I was skipping, breaking out old dance moves, grinning from ear to ear. I felt rejuvenated and juvenile. I drank fresh air and ate up the scenery. I rode my Dad's road bike all over the island which only has hills that go up.

I arrived, biked to the cabin in the dimming light, made a fire, went for a walk and gazed at the stars, took myself out to dinner, then lay in the true black quiet - no street lights, no street noise, only the hum of nature's night life.

Back at "Gamma's" on Sunday evening, devouring turkey and gravy and stuffing, I was in love with my family. It was something to be thankful for.

October 1st Update

The irony of that last post, is I kind of lost my cool - just a little - at city hall days later.

We had been told we needed a variance for something which (after jumping through all the hoops) it turned out we didn't. That set our plans back...oh about a month. People just aren't sure of things over there in Community Development and Planning resulting in nobody wanting to make a call about anything. For example, we have a little problem with the Flood Construction Level, and we're asking for some leeway. Nobody has said "no", but nobody has said "yes" either. So we continue to wait.

Meanwhile, the little baby in my belly grows bigger and stronger every day.

It's OK though...I think, I think, I can handle it all. An infant, a construction zone, a toddler, cramped and messy quarters and maybe even a little bit of work at Capilano U. I think. I think I have the support I need. But I forget, don't I? I forget what having an infant means... Oh Well - we all survive.

In the meantime we are gutting the basement suite. Our tenants moved out for September. It was so gross and smelly down there. We've torn out the carpets, washed the windows, repaired and painted the trim, replaced some drywall and it already feels (and smells) better. It needs a lot more work. I plan on painting the ceilings this morning.

I'm not getting much work with the School District. I think it is because of funding cutbacks. Still, Anneka is now going to daycare four days a week. She's doing quite well with it, but it is too much. And we've seen some new, negative behaviours as a result. They could be her response to the added stress. I'm trying to get some other work...anything. When I get this sorted out, I'd still like to try to take her out of daycare for one day. I think at this age, for Anneka anyways, two days is good, and three is OK. My job at Capilano University is great, but it is only 10 hours a week.

And that's an update!

A Test

I really have been quite lucky lately:

I landed a great little job.
I found childcare just down the road for Anneka.
I felt excited about house plans and felt we were overcoming the obstacles.

And little serendipitous things seemed to be happening all over the place. Or maybe I was just in a good mood? On CBC radio I heard something to the effect of: for every difficulty, annoyance, bit of bad luck, that you lament, you must celebrate equally the things that fall into place, happen with ease, bring good luck. This stuck with me and I was, I am, determined to celebrate these.

Then of course along came some difficulties. Nothing major, a nasty bug that stuck with me for three weeks, some back pain/sciatica, a new wave of nausea and fatigue, and a whole lot of (ahem) BULLSHIT at municipal hall. I'll save the colour of the crap for another day, or maybe not at all, other than to say, I've never experienced such nonsense within government departments with the exception of some third world agencies.

But this is the point of my post. Not to dwell in the stench, but instead to search for good intentions, to give the benefit of the doubt, to accept the mistakes of others, to find humor and let it all flow through me.

And by doing so, become better able to work with it.

Our First House

In May of 2008, we bought a house.

















It isn't much, but it has some great views.


















We had plans for this house, nothing huge - take down some walls, new floors, paint, fixtures etc. We had the plans, but not the time, the know-how, nor the means. So instead, I focused on the yard.

The yard was a postage stamp. There was a rose bush in the front, a holly tree in the back, and a rectangle of waist-high weeds that, at one time, had been a veggie garden.

Some mini projects over the last two seasons have led to something a little better.

The first season we acquired a green house from our awesome neighbour, I built a rock garden under the holly tree and Paul butchered the weeds that were once a veggie patch.

We moved in in July, but managed to put in a late garden.



















This spring, we added a sand box, started seeds early in the greenhouse and had the time to properly prepare the soil for growing vegetables.

















We also added a strawberry patch and enclosed the garden to keep out some of the ravenous weeds.

















The garden has gone-off this year and we have had some huge harvests.


















I'm still working on this path.


















We've done a few things inside, but nothing too exciting.

Now, more than a year later those small ideas for the house have grown and these inflated ideas have been put on paper, made concrete. Now we are waiting....