Photo Update

It doesn't seem to matter how tired or grumpy the girls are, bath time is always full of laughter and quick retrievals of Halle who tends to find herself face down in the water at every bath.  No, not because of Anneka - Anneka is quite vigilant.  The other day she charged across the living room to stop Halle from throwing herself off the couch!  Halle is always covered in bumps, bruises and scrapes.  When will she give up?

These days Anneka isn't napping much.  She's got too much work to do.  Her pictures are quite interesting.  They are often map like and sometimes from a bird's eye perspective or a combination.  They are full of patterns and hieroglyphics and also real letters.  Anneka can recognize the majority of the letters in the alphabet now and can print more than a dozen.  She will print ANN and then usually asks for the order of the others.  We don't actually work on it much - she'll learn when she learns - but she's obviously interested and when she's asks I'll help her.

Her imagination continues to blossom.  The other day we were cuddling on the couch and she told me to close my eyes and then tell her what I saw.  We took turns doing this over and over, adding on to one another's pictures and making up fantastical scenes.  She is often singing.  I think she has a really lovely voice and can effortlessly carry a tune.  She makes up stories.  She will often tell me she has a "secret story" to tell me "from her heart".  Every night a bed time she asks Paul and/or I tell her a story "from our mouths".  Usually the stories we tell her are from when we were little, but I am also beginning to dig up fairy tales and fables from my memory.

Halle is now 10 months old.  More and more she is able to play with Anneka.  They are really starting to laugh and be silly together.  The last few mornings they have been rolling around on our bed together before they get up for the day.  Halle just wants to be part of everything.

Physical skills still seem to be her biggest focus.  Not that she's not developing in all other ways, she is, it's just that she is such an active little critter it's hard not to notice.  At Anneka's gymnastics Paul said that during circle time when the kids were doing donkey kicks, Halle was right in there doing donkey kicks too!  The teacher thought she was a child prodigy, but I know better - haha.  Halle is right into everything.  She "helped" Paul whenever she could when he was redoing the floors and wants to eat whatever we are.  She gets so angry if I take away something she is playing with, so now I am sure to make an exchange instead.  She is climbing on me and giving me kisses and when she really wants me she utters a string of mamamamamama.  This afternoon when both girls must have had low blood sugar and Paul and I were cleaning the kitchen, unpacking groceries and making lunch, they were both loud and whiney.  At one point the resounding sound was a symphony of whiney Mum and mamas and mummies.  It was something else.  Paul and I just looked at eachother and laughed - what else can you do?

Other news with Halle is she is teething pretty hard again.  Her 8th little tooth just broke through and I think the eye teeth are annoying her.  She was sleeping a long stretch that took her till sometime between 2-5 am, and then would go back to sleep until 7, but now she's back to waking up after 4 hours or so.  I can really tell the difference in my overall energy when this happens.  She is resettling easily so it's not bad, but the broken sleep has an impact.  I've heard that some people who meditate heavily are good with 5 hours.  That would be awesome.  Imagine only needing 5 hours sleep!

The following shots are the Waldorf Hallowe'en in Paradise Valley (pre trick or treating), a fall day in Porteau Cove, and the evolution of the floors.  Enjoy!

Space

I was fortunate enough to spend much of this weekend at a yoga workshop.  To describe the experience after I told Paul that it had a similar effect on me as our new bamboo floors have had on our house, in that as this floor "yokes" the areas of the house to create more flow and continuity and space within the same house.  So if my body was the house the workshop was the floor that did some "yoking" or yoga within my own house.  But there goes my mind running again, and now I don't want to ponder these thoughts I just want the waves to pass through and to keep the space and so at this moment that would make it impossible to keep writing.   I will only write my intention for the time being and that is to make a daily practice of practicing tapas.

Mother Wind

Mother Wind dost blow and howl cruel bitter cold through bones and homes.  Everything is shaken.  Everything is stirred - within and without - exciting tempest, uneasy seductrest.  C'mon ye playful people, stir yer own pots.  See what is brewing within.  Exit air and ground ye soul.

The children are sleeping for minutes more.  While the wind roughs up our outer home Paul and I shake up our interior.  Literally.  We have moved all living room furniture into the centre to begin tearing the ugly horrid wretched carpets from our living space.  I have taken before pictures.  Slowly our living space is being transformed.  I forget that less than a year ago there was a central wall sectioning off a useless hallway and five doorways staring at me from where I sit in the kitchen.  Now there is only a half wall partitioning off the kitchen from the living room.

Less than two weeks ago Paul and Dad put bamboo floors in our bedroom.  So sweet.  So clean, so crisp.  Haha.  Here we go.  Shake it up.  Out with the old, old, old!!!  Enter chaos!

Bring it Winter Wind!!

Synergy

NINE months OUTSIDE, NINE months INSIDE = Synergy!

You dressed as a mouse (small but mighty) for Hallowe'en, but you'll always be my Snuggle Bug, or Halle - go - balle to Anneka and the "cutest baby in history" to Daddy.  You rock our world!  We are IN LOVE!

You are a mini machine.  You crawl and climb and pull up.  When we hold your hands you walk - high stepping actually across the room.  You cling to me like a koala bear when you are tired, bumped or bruised (which is often) or scared...I swear you could climb me like a tree trunk.  When you were scared of me with my big yellow owl-eyes on All Hallow's Eve you clung sobbing to your Daddy who was much more cozy as "The Teddy Bear's Picnic".  I later took you into Becky's bathroom and held you as I washed my make up off.  I could feel all your contracted muscles begin to relax as the mama you know emerged.  I just want to squish you to pieces and eat you up!

You're laugh is hilarious and comes so easily.  You get so excited with your world of learning - for example, when you pull up on something new you look at me laughing your excited laugh and tensing your little muscles.

You're pretty easy to be around.  You go to sleep easily on your own, you nap well, you enjoy exploring and don't need to be picked up as much, you're happy in sling, stroller or backpack, you love other babies and kids.  Sometimes you shy away from adults and other times you engage and wave at many.  Those are your waving days.  You've also been attempting hand clapping and are in full babble mode.  You're Daddy agrees with me that you are actually saying "Mama" directed at me.  You understand so many things - when we call you for your bath you crawl full tilt laughing and cajoling into the bathroom.

On the flip side, you can get so angry.  So many similarities to your sister - quick with your emotions - yet also so different.  I hope I am right, but I think you two are going to be really good buddies.  You both clearly are fun girls.  The other day you and Anneka were playing cat and mouse and you were laughing and laughing, it was the best thing a Mummy could see!

Education

Waldorf Education, University Education, My Education.  I have a lot to think about lately.  Right now, I thrive on thinking.

Meetings.  Centered around "Student Success".  I think a lot about what works for students and what doesn't, about different learners and about motivation.  About why my students are where they are.  I love meetings.  I find myself talking a lot.  Yes, I'm that annoying person.  After a couple of years of house arrest I am stretching in all directions and it's hard to stop.

I think about my educational history from my sister teaching me reading and math before I was school aged to attending my Professional program in education.  Ironically, it was that program that squelched my love of school.  I found myself not really wanting to teach in public school and, although I loved elementary and middle school, recalling the abyss of highschool.  I still haven't embraced the public school system, mostly instructing in alternative systems.

I love the job I have found myself in.  I finally had my break and although it is a temporary position I will do whatever I can to retain it, including going back to school.  Something I would like to do anyway.  (Not to learn to write in complete sentences, I'm taking creative liberties and the phrases are intentional.)  I think about a direction of study.  I'm still considering the Master's in Adult Education and Global Change, but also graduate work in Biology.  I would love to get right into the brain.  Right into it's inner workings, into chemicals and receptors and brain plasticity and why some people stay calm, relaxed and happy and others slip into depression.  I would love to live to 150 and go to medical school, perhaps deliver babies or get into cancer research, or just on to teaching undergraduate students.

Although it was fine for me, I consider the multiple reasons why the public school system didn't work for my students.  It was fine for me but it could have been more.  The light in Anneka (and in little Halle) are what is missing.  I want those little lights to keep sparkling, I want that joy to keep shining through.  I love that Anneka loves little things, that every rock is special or magical, a treasure to be admired if only for an hour.  That we can't come back from a walk without bouquets of grasses, leaves, rocks and sticks. I love that she counts every mushroom in a cluster in a specific order, I love that she digests her world.

Watching Halle is even more fascinating.  How she inspects the label on a blanket, how she turns bits of food she has scavenged from the floor over and over in her hand, inspecting and feeling.  I want my girls to continue to digest their world, to take their time, to live and breath what they learn.  To know it, to experience it.  We are trying out Waldorf school - I just came from a parent meeting which is why this is on my mind.  We are having a great experience with preschool and I am becoming more and more interested in the later years.

Fun-loving, humorous, imaginative, inquisitive, talented, creative and patient.  We are having to hire a nanny for January - three days a week.  I have been a bit sad at the prospect - sad that I won't be with my children for much of the weeks and that I will turn the most important job in my life over to someone else for a while - concerned about giving up some of the control of how they are raised, and sorry for myself about missing out.  But, now I realize I can also look at it as an opportunity.  My children have the opportunity to learn from someone else and be loved by another person.  I have the opportunity to hire someone wonderful.  To hire someone talented.  Maybe someone that can play an instrument or sing or act or paint.  Maybe someone that loves to tell stories or go on adventure walks.   I am on a Quest to find a Waldorf-style nanny.  He or She is out there, waiting to play with Anneka and Halle.

Romancing Shanghai

In Shanghai I got up every weekday morning no later than 6:30 am.  I rode my bike to work (5 minutes away), stopped on the way to grab a baozi shu tzai or two (steamed dumpling stuffed with greens) from a street stall and was at work at 7:00.  I taught "Science" to middle school students all day, and then did planning.  I planned all kinds of creative projects - my grade 8's made gigantic cells from all kinds of materials that covered the bulletin boards down the hall and cartooned meiosis, the grade 7's made delta's with sand and water, the grade 6's made somewhat proportionally accurate 3 dimensional topographic maps of real mountains out of salto - and then I brought my marking home (some days).

Some evenings before bed I would cycle all around the french concession or southeast of Hongqiao Lu toward Ikea, the stadium and the very Chinese area of hidden alleys and backstreet markets.  The streets would be virtually deserted.  I'd return home late to collapse into a deep sleep.  I slept 7 or 7.5 hours a night, practiced Ashtanga yoga at a studio three times a week, and made multiple mixed CD's for my frequent runs around the Hongqiao neighbourhood.  I could ascend into a head stand without bending my knees, scorpion in a shoulder stand and at a staff BBQ had a cartwheel race down the length of the soccer field with my soul-buddy collapsing in a pile of laughter at the end.

She and I would get into crazy wrestling and jumping on the bed matches in the early morning hours of the morning after a night out in Shangahi.  These weekends were another story.  I often hit the clubs with the other teaching staff, drank too much, and eventually climbed in the back of a taxi bound for Songyuan Lu where my roomy apartment and firm Chinese mattress awaited.   That got old after a while.  During the day, I explored the city by bicycle.  I loved the clothing markets.  I would find some unique items there, sometimes from European designers.  I was just small enough to fit some of the cool stuff.  Eating a diet predominantly of rice, greens and tofu, I probably looked skinny, but I felt great.  Sometimes I cooked, but mostly I ate on Songyuan Lu at my local "diner" for about a $1.50.  On the same street I'd have my hair dried and straightened for the same amount.  I'd get massages from a young blind masseuse who intuitively knew what areas to work on.

That was five years ago.  It was not the only time I have felt fit, healthy and energetic, but it is the one I keep remembering wistfully.  Often I hear myself saying "what is wrong with me"?  I have energetic days, "this is it!" days.  Like today.  Sitting in my office on the 3rd floor at Cap. U looking out at beautiful view of the water and the city after four hours of teaching I felt vital.  Passing a cyclist cresting the summit of the hill at Lion's Bay, I thought "I could do that!"  But then,  a day or two later, I am tired again.

Why can't I lose this baby weight?  Why can't I stick to eating well?  Why can't I make exercise a regular part of my life?  I guess the answer is obvious.

Still I wondered if it was more than sleep deprivation and the energy output required to maintain my life.  Low iron?  Vitamin deficiencies? Getting older?  Ambivalence?  Today was reassuring.  Paul spent the night with Halle (who has been sleeping terribly this past week or more), bottle fed her, and I slept in our little hobbit hovel downstairs (where he has been sleeping this terrible week).  I shut my eyes sometime shortly after 10, opened them at 6:15, remembered nothing in between, got up, pumped milk, got ready (all without even going upstairs), hit Zeph for a coffee, breakfast and lunch to go and was heading south on Hwy 99 by seven.  With no children to cart around and take care of and at a job I enjoy I had a great day.  I stopped at Park Royal on the way home, bought myself some new cloths in Aritzia (pants that fit because this time the weight is lingering and I might as well wear something I like) and now it's 9:30 and I haven't yawned once.

There's nothing wrong with me.  I don't even think I would have been able to do all this that more energetically in my twenties.  I will be an energetic person again.  I will.  Someday.  One day I won't have to sleep in until 9 (or 10:30) to feel that way.

My story is over, but I have to say something for the record and in fairness to my better half.  He is sleeping downstairs to get some rest (he's still a night owl though) and the trade off is he gets up with the kids (or I switch with him even earlier - 6am - oh the guilt) and I get a couple hours all to my self.

Zzzzzzzzz

Are We Human?

So fun.  Halle jumped through this album without stopping until dinner was ready.

Lately, Anneka is quite happy playing on her own.  I have a window to her imagination as she talks through her play.  She's often playing school with imaginary  "friends" giving instructions and reading stories.  I know it's important to still get involved in her play but it's also nice to be doing my housework alongside her "work".  She often joins in the kitchen and helps out.

She's now going to our Waldorf preschool two mornings a week after being home full time all summer.  I love this time of back-to-school, always have.  It's sad to say good-bye to the freedom and warmth of summer, but it's also to get back to a bit more structure, routine and focused learning.  Our little girl is starting preschool - new kids, new teacher, new space, new activities.  I'm excited for her and it seems to be going really well.  There is no guessing with Anneka, as she tells us all about it.  Two little class mates are already close little buddies from the community - I hope they branch out from their little threesome.  We wouldn't mind a bit more time, but from a developmental perspective three hours twice a week is about right for the kids.  We have lots of playdates and gymnastics (of which Cerys is a part) to fill in the other time.

Halle is crawling really well now (there she goes into the kitchen).  I keep trying to read her books but she is just too busy.  She doesn't take time studying the pictures the way Anneka did.  She goes from one to the other and then on to something else - grabbing, briefly studying, and then chucking before on to the next thing.  The difference is quite interesting - she's only still when sleeping!  She has been quite independent for the past couple of weeks, when she could really start getting to things.  It seems like she may have started either teething again (she has four little teeth already) or going through some big developmental changes because she has suddenly become rather temperamental the last few days.  Actually the change is quite dramatic.  Three days ago I would have said she was so easy going and such a pleasure and now she's a little T-Rex.  I'd like to start doing some more Halle-centred activities.  She loves to be around other babies and has been completely into Baby Storytime at the library the two times I've made it.  I hope to get her in a swim group and take advantage of the library group more often.  Anneka's many play dates seem to take priority.

Meetings and organizing kept me really busy at the end of August, but now that classes are underway we have a schedule.  I work at home on Thursdays and teach an evening math class, and then Biology classes all day in North Vancouver.  Today we were so tired after Halle was up for much of the night.  Paul looked after the girls and took them to Shannon Falls while I was in Van.  I mustered up some energy and feel pretty good about how my classes went.  I'm really enjoying getting reacquainted with Biology 12 and being back in the lab.   I honestly think I am happier than if I were at home full time.  Right now our situation is (almost) ideal as we don't need childcare.  One of us is always with the kids.  It will change come January, where if things go as planned we will need some help.  

We spent an hour this evening watching the documentary "Babies" together on the laptop.  Halle mostly crawled all over the three of us, but was interested anytime there was some babbling.  Anneka had lots of questions.  Babies are just so cute!

Collage Happy

Halleballoo

Halle - 6 months. Working on crawling.

It is no exaggeration, to say that you love the swing. If you haven't had enough you cry when I take you out, so I plunk you right back in.

Halle - 7 months. Making the first motions.

"Hey Halle! What's new with you?"

"What's that? You're seven months already!"

"Really? You're babbling and laughing and playing peekaboo? Wow, you're really one of the gang now! Keep on smiling and laughing, girl, you're doing great!"

Halle, Halle. My goodness, I do owe you an update. You are just a great kid. So sweet and lovely and quite an action girl. Yep, life is busy, but it's so fun with you in it. You are very good to us, and what's more, you're mostly interested in Anneka anyway. You get mad if she's having fun in the next room and I'm trying to dress you or change your diaper. You want to be near Anneka most of the time, unless you're tired then you want to nurse, cuddle and then suck your blankie to sleep! I love that, that you suck and gnaw on a fleece blanket to fall asleep. It makes it easy to put you to sleep, and you came up with that all on your own.

When you're happy to see us you squeal and make cat-like noises and wave your arms right in our faces. You do this equally to your dad and I. You've been hanging out with him so much I'd say he's as much in tune with you as I am, and you are pretty attached to him. That's pretty rare for a baby your age. You initiate peek-a-boo games with blankets and face cloths, and think it's just the best thing that you can hold a toy or cloth above your head with both hands. That's pretty good - you must have long arms to get around that baby head. You make "words" that sound a lot like "hi" and "ma" and "da".

You're creeping around the floor and getting on your hands and knees and rocking. Then you lunge forward to your tummy, then do it again, making your way along. You've done a little crawling by moving each hand then moving your knees as one unit. Soon you'll be really mobile, and then you can get into ALL of Anneka's toys and games.

You still do mostly quite well in the sleep department. Of course it's never as good as I'd like it - no sleeping all night long. You still go down quite easily and take long naps: three a day but I think you're moving to two. It makes more sense for you since you usually sleep at least 1.5 hours during a nap. Suddenly you're sleeping in your own bed - the playpen beside our bed. It happened relatively quickly. You started chewing your blanket to sleep in there and then usually sleep for a pretty good stretch 4-8 hours. Then the nursing gets more frequent and you often end up in the bed. When you sleep long, like 6 - 8 hours it almost makes it harder because you don't settle so well again. I find sometimes the only way to get you to re-settle then is to leave you to squirm, fuss, squawk and sometimes full-out cry in the play-pen. Otherwise, it's just nonsense in our bed.

You are ridiculously sweet and cute. Enough said!

Well, not quite. Another thing you love is the bath. Everybody says that about their kid, right? But you really do. You love it. Again, you often cry when taken out. I'd say there were times, probably about 5 months, when you were an outright maniac in the bath. You would splash and kick so hard sending water all over Anneka. She, unlike you, despises getting water in her eyes. She's the first to admit it. She also isn't reluctant in commenting how brave you are as she pores cups full of water over your head. You have to be watched very closely in the bath, because you lunge forward, headfirst into the water.

OK, so no baby can be perfect. You don't like having your diaper changed, or a poopy diaper. No big surprise there. The other day you slept for only 7 or 8 hours in a 24 hour period! Amazing. You were pretty sensitive that day. No surprise there either.

Birthday Bash Photos

Hil and Mil: two turquoise cuties

The "bash" in Anneka's Birthday.

Last, but in on way least, the presents!

And it's all over for another year.

Thanks Becky for the photo collage tips....

And now for Becky's grand collage:

Three is a Magic Number

Three is a magical age and our little girl is three. There is so much emotional turbulence in me when I think of my little girl growing up. I feel joy for the enthusiasm and curiosity of a young developing mind and the imagination it sparks within me. I feel deep aches of nostalgia for my own childhood and the vulnerability of children. I feel spurts of adrenalin generated by a passing fear of the unknown future and that which I can not control for my child, and excitement at the possibilities of a life unfolding. I am stepping back more often to let Anneka forge ahead and then we join in hugs and kisses galore. I adore her and right now I am adored and this I want to hold forever. I want to hold my little girl forever and although she is only three, she is now three and older, and so am I.

Anneka, I am yours and I give you myself. At the same time this turning of three frees up some of my time that you previously needed. In doing so it allows me to nourish myself in many ways and I feel a rebirth of facets of my life that were inactive. A concrete example of this is the sharpening of my mind through study and work. I feel oxygen rushing to my brain as I read academic material and my mind lighting up as I discuss all aspects of education with colleagues. Being with you girls makes me a good mommy, but a balance makes me a happier, more interesting and creative mommy and a more present mommy when I'm there. Anneka right now you have enough of me, but I feel a pang sometimes for Halle and wish to spend more time with her than I am currently able. I know things will settle down a bit once school is underway and hopefully it'll only be hard a couple of days a week.

You're third birthday is over and it was a success. It was so anticipated by you. I think you and your friends had fun. Throwing a party is a lot of work. Being so occupied during the party, it is a bit hard to judge how it is received and keep track of all the guests and their needs. You requested a caterpillar cake that included cupcakes with candles in the cupcakes, a pinata, lollipops, candy and bubbles. You got it all! You were involved in the cake design and making the pinata. Dad did the crepes. Gramma and Granpa O. came the night before and helped out. The best part for me was making the pinata with you and Daddy just before you went to bed. It was a fun craft project born out of my unwillingness to buy a commercial dollar store cardboard pinata.

Happy Birthday! Let's enjoy the next 363 days until you're four!!! xox

Links to some party pics: Bubbly

Elle & Kris Visit

Two Glasses of Wine

In one week Halle will be 6 months. It's time for an update on life at 6 months post partum with child #2.


Over all we're doing well. The day after the second of the two babies arrived I suddenly felt super tired and extremely grouchy. It was kind of a release like when you get sick after you finish writing all of your exams, or after you've finished your last report card. Your body doesn't need to hold out any longer. I was relieved that both babies and mums were healthy and also that Paul had wrapped everything up before he was to leave. But therein lies the crux of the matter. Paul gone, for three weeks. It hit me hard that it would be all me and there would be no rest before he left - for him or me.

Day one I was still tired and grouchy but we had supper over at Caroline, Stu, Cerys and baby Ffion's house. That helped except both Anneka and Cerys were CRAZY and fought like fiends and played like lunatics. They are both quite strong personalities and are like siblings with one another.

Last night I was asleep a little earlier - 10 - and so felt a little less tired this morning. I thought my friends were coming today and so organized the editing/liveing room and cleaned downstairs and broke down boxes and stacked ply wood and boards left over from building projects, shop vacuumed everywhere, and generally got the place in decent shape. Our old fixer-up house is endless work.

It turns out they aren't arriving until tomorrow so I am ahead of the game. After lunch Anneka and Halle both went down for a two hour nap and I passed out for an hour on the couch. I felt and feel much better now. I played outside with the girls, made supper on the BBQ, ate on the deck and then we went for a walk.


Halle is generally doing great, but she has presented us with a couple of challenges in the past couple of week and I'm sure it's the lead up to that 6 month developmental leap. She has gone easily to others and been passed around a lot as a baby but just recently she makes strange and clings to me like a little koala bear. Daddy is OK, she clings to him too...I hope she doesn't forget him. Also, for a week her naps were really off and it was impossible to get her to sleep before ten. She's getting a little better in that department. Part of what is making me a bit more tired is that I stay up late and Halle wakes up at 5 or 6 for almost an hour before she goes back to sleep. I am then woken again by Anneka at about 7:30. I also seem to need a lot of sleep these days. During this wakeful period Halle rolls around all over the bed having a great time. She sometimes ends up completely turned around at the food of the bed - that babe can move!

Halle has been quite an easy baby and even these more turbulent times with her aren't bad. I think Anneka trained me well. Anneka was and is, a spirited child. Both girls were/are very smiley babies that clearly love to laugh and have fun. But Anneka as a baby also had a temper and a will and a huge desire to experience the world ... I don't know how many times I can recall people including strangers commenting on her bossy behaviour, even as a 6 month old. On the flip side strangers all over were dazzled by her smile and charmed by her antics. She never wanted to miss out on anything and was/is a very bright little girl. Halle is also a charmer and eager to learn, but is a bit more easy going.

Both my babies had a great need to suck to sooth (Halle less so) and so I used a soother. I really didn't like the soother and weaned Anneka at 6 months. She was then able to put herself to sleep without it. Although she now will crawl into bed with me to cuddle at any opportunity, as a baby and toddler she was quite an independent sleeper. When tired she would never rest her head on my shoulder and relax into sleep. She would push herself away and fight it all the way.

Halle likes to be close and I have made no effort to move her out of our bed. She easily relaxes into me when tired and is a super snuggler. She nursed to sleep easily and seemed to have less fondness for the soother and more for her fingers. With the onset of teething and the recent difficulty falling asleep at night she has suddenly developed a real want of the soother at bed times. I just don't worry about these things with Halle. I'll lie her down on the bed or in her playpen with the soother and her favourite blanket, go read to Anneka, come back and she'll often be asleep. If it's what works for her now, so be it.

These days Halle really likes to sit and play. She pulls toys out of the basket and rocks forward on her bum. She reaches as far as she can in front of her and leans onto her heals. She also throws her arms over her head and squeals. She loves to stand and steps one foot in front of the other. She wants nothing more then to have me prop her against things so she can stand. She sometimes squeals and lunges for her jolly jumper.

For the past month she's eaten little bits of avocado, sweet potato and banana, but not regularly. Today I steamed, pureed and froze some orange sweet potato as she is really wanting to be fed and I guess I should start doing it more regularly. I think I will wait a couple of weeks before I make her brown rice or quinoa porridge. I grind the whole grains and they can be hard to digest until at least six months.


Anneka is, even more than usual, full of beans. She is cracking me and others up. At Charlotte's yesterday she was the only one who wasn't tired and grouchy. She hammed it up in the living room, kissed everybody good bye on the legs, ankles and feet, announced to the room that I needed to go get Halle from Gramma, give Gramma a kiss on the cheek and tell her that I would see her later and then go. She made a chipmunk face and gave chipmunk kisses.

And so with a chipmunk kiss I am signing off. Staying up this late, I am sure to be tired tomorrow!

Three Cheers...

For Little Girls! Hip Hip Hooray for Birth and Babies! Two more baby girls to add to the clan. Two amazing births and two amazing women. Lucky me to be part of it.

Caroline had her baby at 3:30 am Wednesday at Lion's Gate (smoo

th and fast labour and delivery - her second) and Charlotte at 9:10 pm yesterday. Charlotte had a water birth in her living room with many of the UBC Salmo Court neighbourhood girls coming in to visit her with Amelia. Halle and I spent from about 1:30pm until the baby was born with Charlotte and Jesse and my mom was there from about 4pm. The midwife arrived at 5pm. Amelia played with her neighbour friends and got ready for bed at their place, but came back home shortly before the baby was born. She didn't want to be in the room while her mom was pushing the baby out but stood leaning out her bedroom window shouting "My mom is pushing the baby out!" into the courtyard. It was awesome.

Victoria, Amelia and Javiera with the cake they made for the baby.

Waiting

For the past couple of weeks I've been "at home" with the girls. Paul has been working on various projects often from the house. There is more of a rhythm to the day - to theirs and mine. Sometimes I need to get out of town and we head to Stanley Park or to visit with Char and Amelia (last Sunday was Amelia's party), or with the better weather, we have been going to Alice Lake. If we have no plans, we often run into someone on our walks. There are certainly no shortage of kids to hang out with and fortunately, there are some pretty cool moms out there. There are great walks around here, the library and of course many coffee shops. I also try to accomplish thing around the house usually with little success.

We'll do this for a couple of more weeks and then spend a week or two in Victoria. Paul will be away in Chile at that time filming (lucky bastard!). I'm feeling a bit sleepy these days as I can't seem to get more than 3 hours sleep at a stretch and it would be nice to have the grandparents around so I can sleep in or nap! Halle is waking more frequently and lately hasn't been settling again as quickly. She'll sometimes sleep longer than three hours at the beginning of the night, but she's asleep around 8 and I'm not ready for bed.

I'm enjoying the girls having a bit of a routine. Halle naps three times a day and Anneka has an afternoon nap. Anneka has gotten really good at putting herself to sleep for a nap again - she was getting run down and getting infections - bladder, ear, eye then cold sores on her tonque - and I asked the doctor to tell her that the best medicine was sleep! I call bedtime for both of them 8 o'clock, but we often don't have them in bed until a bit later. However, I'm not against blowing off the routine and spending the whole day at the lake if we're having a good time.

So there's a rhythm and we're waiting. Well I'm waiting: waiting for Charlotte and Caroline to have their babies (due Sunday and Monday, respectively). I'd love to be 39 weeks and waiting for signs of labour and I'd love to give birth again. I won't though. But I can be excited for them. I am on call to look after both Amelia and Cerys. Charlotte may have Amelia attend some of the birth depending on how things go. Caroline has now asked me if I'd like to attend her birth instead of look after Cerys and of course I would. Last night on the phone when I realized she was building up to ask me, I got really giddy. I am totally honored and completely into it! We'll see how things unfold and how the story goes. How exciting...two little babes on the way, so much love to share!

Do You Like to Party? YES!

What fun: two birthday parties at Alice Lake in one day on opposite sides of the lake. Cerys turned three and Ciahni turned four. Anneka, Halle and I set up "camp" at Cerys' (Paul was filming again today) and stroller walked to Ciahni's then back - circumnavigating the lake. It really was a great day. Having "slept in" until eight, Anneka was in a stellar mood and has been going strong all day. Now she is chillin' watching Sesame Street. It's interesting with Anneka - sometimes she can act a bit shy and hold my hand and stick close and other times she joins right in with kids she doesn't know, talks a lot and initiates and organizes play. The former behaviour is usually when she doesn't know any kids and adults predominate. I was surprised by her yesterday at a potluck/clothing swap and today at both birthday parties at her self assuredness, exuberance and confidence. Most of the kids were new to her and older, yet she seemed extremely comfortable and completely herself. She is beginning to explore further and further away from me, so I am having to watch her carefully.

Halle also had a great day. She is just so freakin' cute and is growing up so fast. She loves the other kids and all the activity and gets about as involved as a babe of five months can. I hope Stu got some good pictures of her. She is sitting well and played with the sand in the shallow water. Of course fist fulls went into her mouth and lake water too! One of our public health nurses was there so feeling a bit lax about my parenting I checked in with her. She didn't think it was a problem. I grew up a naked rolly polly dirty babe in Swaziland and I think this freedom is now part of my psyche.

All went well until the last 20 minutes when Halle pooped the dish clothh I had her bum wrapped in (I brought everything but the kitchen sink and diapers) and was screaming as I carried her across the grass to wash her bum. It was quite a scene. Halle seems so chill and happy and then she lets it fly - it makes everyone scramble to her rescue. Someone brought over a diaper as I was trying to squish her mini bum into an even smaller rag. Phew, it was one of those moments where you think to yourself "how did I get here?" Once I carried only the weight of my backpack and now I am that woman who truly has her hands full that I watched from the sidelines with a bit of amusement but mostly indifference."

Haha - Life! Grand isn't it?

Vocare

At 4pm last friday, the afternoon we were to leave on our trip to Vernon I sat down to have my first bite to eat since 9am that day. I'd arrived at work at 9:30am for my last class of the term expecting to leave a few hours later. Instead I stumpled out of the building at 3pm, delirious from not having eaten and totally frustrated. Due to a a stupid mistake entering final grades made by skimming and rushing I had created a whole lot of extra paper work for myself. Finally I left determining it could wait until we returned and took The Exploder into Crappy Tire for an oil change. This is when I arrived at "The Cup" and read my weekly horoscope in The Pique.


Now there was some advice that was worth following. I'dbeen thinking of our jaunt to Vernon as a trip and a visit with Paul's side of the family but it hadn't occured to me that it might be a vacation. Vacation, from the Latin "vocare" - to empty - or in English to vacate, was actually what it was - a vacation from our lives and an emptying of any building tension. Paul had also been extremely busy dealing with footage, editing and all kinds of things and was staying up late nights to get it done. If you'd asked me if I was stressed I'd have said I was busy and felt a bit burned out, but not stressed. HOWEVER, I was waking up with a headache everyday and my teeth actually hurt from clenching them so bad in my sleep! I actually bought a mouth-guard but thanks to our little vacation, I haven't had to use it yet. The clenching problem went away as soon as we got to Vernon and there was nothing, NOTHING that had to get done! Ahhh, sweet relaxation...


We arrived a little after 2am on Saturday snuck into Edie and Howard's new downstairs suite and resettled the little ones. Poor Halle was at the end of her rope being in her carseat. Anneka was up at 6 wanting to see Grandma and Halle was awake then too. We kept her busy until 7, then Halle, Paul and I slept in until almost 11. That day, the girls slept a lot (Anneka took a three hour nap) and we rested. Overall we caught up on sleep and rest, ate delicious food prepared by Edie, Howard and Kim, went to the lake and got to hang out with Graham for the first time in three years. It was a very fun visit - what a great and talented family! Here our some pictures from our Vernon Vacation.

I am looking forward to devoting the rest of the summer to summery things and spending even more time with Halle and Anneka. It surprised me how much even teach two classes divided my time.