Snowflakes and Honey Days

Storm after storm keeps hitting the coast.  Not too long ago a thought about cleaning up the yard drifted through my mind, but winter is by no means over.  The girls have been hit by another cold.  Anneka is ever hardy and it barely affects her, but it has really set into little Halle.  Anneka spent time outdoors today building a Snow Queen and running through the "trails" Paul shoveled.  Halle wistfully watched the snow fall from the window and sucked on her honey jar!  She sipped honey lemon tea from a bottle and napped a lot.  I played with Paul's new cameral, then I got away for a skate ski at Callaghan.  It was a more mellow and restful week as both Anneka and my schools were closed for PD/reading break - quite enjoyable.  I'm ready for a couple more months of school and a bit more winter too!

Twice in One Day

Twice in one day I felt my stomach sink and my pulse speed up.

First the voice said it was Whistler Mountain calling.  That was on my way home from work and my first thought was "Paul".  But someone had found my sun glasses at the Nordic site.  Actually good news.

Secondly a knock on the door just after I put the kids to bed.  A young man stood on the porch with that sun/windburned face, glowing teeth and eyes and wild hair of someone just getting back from the mountains.  "Hi Emily" - he had a European accent and seemed slightly awkward.  My thought - "pro-snowboarder...haven't met ... bad news..Paul".  And then that sinking feeling.  Just G's boyfriend picking up her phone she left here.

I don't like it, I don't like it at all.   But I hear the truck pull up outside.  All's well.  Another day.  Mostly I've ceased to worry.  It's been too many years.  So many nights past 9pm, even 10.  Once in Pemby got the search party together and were about to head out when the truck pulled up.

It bothers me when things happen in pairs; it feels like a warning to complete the trilogy.  I guess I'm superstitious.  P just got in and told me it was one of the gnarliest drives home he's had on the coast - had to pull over multiple times.  Maybe that's all it was about.

What a terrible, morbid post.

Our family dog just passed on, and I've been feeling very sad.  Maybe it's all about that.

On a positive note:  it's puking and I might have a chance to ski the hill tomorrow if Paul doesn't film.  Yes!

And on the rest of the home front, all is well.  Yesterday I took an hour off work and attended a three year old Valentine's Day tea at Anneka's school.  I had a great time and enjoyed watching Anneka shining brightly with excitement and pride.  Halle is inquisitive and adventurous.  She pushes chairs up to counters and climbs up on them.  I caught her with my toothbrush at the bathroom sink this evening - too cute.

Sleep has been less than perfect.  Hal's nursing a few times a night and it's starting to get to me.  Anymore than twice and I really notice.  I don't like that either.  I like to be productive and energetic.  I'm so much better at everything when I'm well rested and much more patient.

Maybe night wean soonish....

One Year Old You!

Halle

At one year old you are sick again with yet another very snotty cold
poor you
weepy red eyes, a little waif
your teeny nostrils in your teeny nose are very clogged
again.

At one year old you stand and groove
to Reggae beats,
without moving your feet,
much.
Hips rock, knees bounce, arms snake and head waggles
with a half grin on your face you feel the beats
and groove.

At one year old you can walk from Here to There
as long as There isn't too far away.
You are still growing into your walking legs
you waver but are getting
there

step

by

step.

At one year old you are telling stories
onomatopea gestures charades expressive
expression of likes and dislikes of feeling sudden anger
when what you want is taken away of feeling excitement
bubbling up through your entire little body bursting through at your nerve endings
your nadis aglow your spirit spilling forth lighting up your entire little being
sound expression chortles and squeals the final
culmination of this intense excitement
surprising us and
surprising
you.

At one year old you sit with a book on the floor under the lamp.
You hunch your back and shoulders and send your intention
with pleasure to the closed book
a hand on each side thumbs meeting in the middle and open the book
and look and exclaim
oh!
then close it thumbs meet a millimetre or two over and open the book
on a different page and exclaim
oh!  Whoa!
Close Open Close Open, exclamations of pleasure
you entertain yourself in these ways
that are all you, all you, at one year old.

This poem has no end
there is no end of you, Halle, at one year old.
You entertain and astonish me in so many ways
with your good humour your huge heart
your sweetness and your Halle wisdom.

My only wish to be to stall time and sit with you and sit with you
sit with you
and learn from you and know you
At this time
At one year old


Halle, I am honored to be your mother
You too have given me the gift of love

Your Mama

Not THAT Little

Halle Tierra 

12 month Specs:

19.2 lbs (25th percentile)
74 cm (about  70th percentile - surprising)

Hmmm...we'll take it!

ONE

My baby turns one on Friday!  I can not believe it!  I think this year has been the fastest of my life.

It has been a whirlwind, but a good one.

Over these past 3.5 years I have grown to love babies so much.  I have become gaga for them.

 Halle is one but doesn't really look it - she is such a little pip-squeak with her big owl eyes - or lemur-like as Gramma Rose once accurately described her.  But I think her petite stature makes her so cute.  I can fling her around - she weighs nothing. - and clings and climbs like a lemur too which makes her even easier to hold.  She is definitely still a baby to me.

I have little fantasies about having another little baby girl.  I'd call her Maude.  But a boy would be nice too, I just know girls.  Anyway, I can't go there.  It's interesting though, that if a baby was in the plans, I would be ready now, and I wasn't ready until quite a bit later after having Anneka.  I guess we become accustomed to being busy and can't imagine it any other way.

Halle will have her one year check up today.  Friday is a long work day for me, so her party will be this Saturday.

So proud of little Halle!