It's been three months since my last confession...er, I mean post.
That's too much time to cover. I'll just say, I've been busy with work - working at being a mum to Halle and Anneka. It was an adjustment returning to full-time parenting during which, I must confess, I sometimes felt quite blue; however, it has been a special time with the girls this summer. Who wouldn't feel a little blue with the July we had? The latter part August and September have been spectacular and filled with outdoor time particularly at a beautiful bay just south of here...shhhh...it's a secret. I've been fairly active running and hiking and am feeling quite fit - well the last week I have let that slide and here I am tonight eating chocolate and drinking beer.
I feel close and connected to the girls and am happy with how they are developing. Namely, they are joyous, inquisitive, active and creative. They socialize, play hard and are healthy. What more is there at a year and a half and just four? I am happy that I have the time to pack picnics and get down on the floor or on the beach and play. I am also happy that I don't always have to do this and I can leave them to their own devices in their room or in the yard. I am thankful that the days of night time feedings are well in the past and I have my health and the energy to do this. (Halle was really a dream baby in retrospect - I was able to be so busy during her first year and didn't have to implement any sort of sleep training program - how lucky to experience this)
Although the summer weather was short, I am also glad that fall is underway and that we have now have a weekly schedule. Anneka is back at Cedar Valley Waldorf preschool Monday and Tuesday mornings. This is not a lot of time, and although she is loving it and could certainly cope well with a lot more time, it isn't necessary. I'm here; I can provide activities and plan play dates. Soon enough, she will be in kindergarten. Halle and Anneka are scheduled in gym programs and music which start next week. Come the winter Anneka will begin ski school on Sundays, during which I will either nordic ski with Hal, or switch baby duty with C and ski myself. It is satisfying to look at the calendar and see it all laid out.
A funny, sweet anecdote. Anneka has been playing "boyfriend and girlfriend" with a little boy in her preschool. I think they played the game a couple of times at the end of the school year last year. She says he asked her! I don't even think she knew what it means, and I'm not sure she does now, although she may be beginning to figure it out. This year there are 3 boys and 2 girls - very little class. Last year was girl - dominated 5:3 and there was not as much intermingling. It sounds like the little group this year has been having a lot of fun playing all together. She told me this evening (I had barely seen her all day as her school went on a field trip and then she had a playdate) that yesterday at school they played the game a little differently. Just her and her little friend played. She said she had been waiting for him to ask her all morning to play "boyfriend and girlfriend" and then he did! Funny she was waiting because she is not reluctant to offer an idea up to her friends, but I guess she wanted to be asked? Hmmm, that's interesting. When asked how they play that game she said they just hold hands and go places. I asked where, and she told me just places like the basket of bean bags. I remember preschool and how I really liked to play with certain boys. I wouldn't really call them crushes but it did seem like a bit more of a special event then inviting a girlfriend over. I don't recall using the terms boyfriend and girlfriend and holding hands, but it is kind of cute in it innocence. I love how candid she is and how she shares all sorts of details. Maybe if I always remain non-reactive, if I discuss rather than dictate, if I question rather than scold, if I respect rather than demand respect, if I learn rather than teach, she will continue to share with me as the years go on. Maybe I am overly naive or optimistic to think this is possible but I am hopeful. I hope the same of Halle and I wonder how our relationship will unfold. Yes, this time with these beautiful souls is not always easy, is not always fun, but I hope it is building a strong beginning.
It is nice to have the time to just watch and follow their lead. It would be great to be simultaneously taking a course in child development and have others to discuss with. Ah well....and life goes on.
